Infidelity Counselling
Our recovery process in Christian counselling for infidelity addresses the deep betrayal by integrating therapeutic techniques with biblical principles.
Recovering From Infidelity Through Christian Counselling
The act of infidelity is a betrayal that cuts into the heart of any marriage. It is one of those acts that have far-reaching consequences. It can destroy families and bring many emotions to the core.
As the spouse who has been cheated on, you feel angry, you feel rejected, you feel pain, at times you want to lash out. Your world has been turned upside down, and you have so many questions. If you have children, you try to maintain a sense of normalcy for them. Sometimes, you may pretend that nothing is wrong and try to keep your emotions hidden.
To make the most of your sessions, we suggest being open and honest with your partner. Coming prepared to talk about your personal backgrounds, expectations, and any unresolved issues is key to building a strong and lasting marriage.
Stages of Christian Infidelity Counselling in Singapore
Stage 1: Crisis and acknowledgement
- Creating a safe space: A Christian counsellor provides a non-judgmental environment for both partners to openly and honestly express their shock, anger, shame, and guilt.
- Understanding the trauma: Infidelity is recognised as a traumatic event that can cause symptoms similar to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in the betrayed spouse, such as intrusive thoughts and emotional distress.
- Full disclosure: The unfaithful spouse is required to provide honest and transparent answers to questions about the affair. This process, while painful, is necessary to rebuild a foundation of trust. Hiding information prolongs the healing process.
- Accountability: The unfaithful spouse must take full responsibility for their actions without minimising or rationalising the offense.
Stage 2: Understanding and insight
- Exploring root issues: The counselling moves beyond the event of the infidelity to uncover the underlying issues that led to the breach of trust. This may include:
- Unresolved conflicts and communication breakdowns.
- A loss of emotional or physical intimacy.
- Unrealistic expectations of marriage.
- Spiritual disconnection from God and from one another.
- Reflecting on faith: The counsellor helps the couple reconnect with their faith as a source of guidance and strength. The process focuses on repentance for the sin and seeking God’s forgiveness, in addition to each other’s.
Stage 3: Forgiveness and rebuilding
- Defining forgiveness: In a Christian context, forgiveness is an act of the will, an intentional decision to let go of resentment and release the burden of hurt, empowered by God’s grace. It does not mean forgetting the betrayal or immediately restoring trust.
- Rebuilding trust: This is a gradual process that requires consistent, trustworthy actions from the unfaithful spouse over time. It can involve radical transparency, such as sharing phone and social media access.
- Establishing new boundaries: Healthy boundaries are set to protect the marriage moving forward. This includes ending all contact with the affair partner.
FAQ
Yes, it can. Though the primary aim is the healing of the marriage, Christian counselling may also help the spouse who was betrayed or even the spouse at fault who now has a change of heart. In Christian counselling, your painful emotions, disappointments, and frustrations will be processed to help you move forward.